Saturday, August 18, 2012

..change

change is a good thing!! .. im always told that and read it on inspiring, spiritual, or just plain random sites and signs every day!

i hate change..it brings uncertainty...like getting lost when you aren't born with the direction gene lol .. i get lost when driving all the time and hate it .. i feel the growing anxiety the more i lose my way....
This is what change is like for me....the unknowing, the uncertainty, the absolute dread of not knowing whats next ... so ive usually not strayed too far from my comfort zone..

well!! did that all come apart 8 months ago .. .holy EIGHT months omggg... thats gone so fast in some ways and sooo slowly in others!!
eight months ago i completely made my life go off the richter scale!! ... i moved! i moved from my nothing ever happens and was safe lifestyle in the bush, back to the city! 600klm away.. away from friends and the one and only job that i loved and had for 18yrs... *blink* i left a very special female friend, one of those people who come into your life knowing youve known them before and over such a short amount of time click into a wonderful friendship.. thats been the hardest of the whole move....(if i could have moved without leaving i would have chosen that option..) of course ive left other very close friends ive made at the kindy .. some i have contact with.. thank god!!! via facebook and blogs - i hope i will never lose that contact of those women friends.

there is a positive side to change ...now that im in it lol i see it ... ive met some new friends ..one of these lovely ladies is a chicky ive "known" for years on a scrapbooking forum .. it closed but thankfully we became facebook friends... i finally met her when i moved to brisbane and again . im sure weve know each other before ....... its an affinity that you dont have will the usual run of the mill people you meet...

        most people would have no clue of my former life in the bush ... most people i met through kindy or my kids had no idea that my marriage - the union that is supposed to protect above all else..failed me in so many ways that i had hoped when first together you wish for that wonderful union that carries you through the darkness.... it shouldnt create that darkness..... it did, the darkness was so great that i embarked on this journey of change ....

the other saying you hear quite often is "you never know whats around the corner" and "good things happen when you least expect it"... <------- this i can verify :-D... when u absolutely least expect it!!!

during this journey of change,  ive found the person who envelopes me  in the light, and draws the darkness away .. im sure ive known him before .. :o)